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PAGE
ONE
Something
old – something new
Practical plastic recycling tips
The perfect host or a friend in need?
Jumping to conclusions
Grandchildren are te best-est medicine
Experience needed
Green Pets
Use in moderation
Great music never fades
Imagination, fun, moderation—a recipe
for fitness
Our dirty little secret
Stormy weather
An idea
Experience: essential
Perspective is everything
The Christmas rush
Merry
Christmas
V1-N3
July 15, 2002
Something
old – something new
It's funny
how every new generation eventually mines the past to resurrect
art, fashion, music, and literature that their parents and
grandparents once enjoyed.
It seems
that in the pursuit of something new, something invigorating
and something exciting, the youth of today aren't quite as
original or as outlandish as they'd like to believe.
From skateboards
to tattoos most of it's been done before. But in my day, when
someone had a tattoo they really stood out either as the merchant
marine uncle or outlaw neighbour. Today even choirgirls are
sporting tattoos.
Hearing
a group of 20-year-olds sing the praises of Louis Prima, Frank
Sinatra and Dinah Washington in a world where the volume of
car radios is measured on the Richter scale and the music
generally sounds like a mass riot has broken out in the backseat,
gives me some hope.
Every
time the younger generation reaches back to keep something
from the past alive—from ballroom dancing to formal dress—I
feel a little vindicated.
Now if
only arthritis, dentures, hair loss, support hose, motorized
wheel chairs and wrinkles could somehow become the rage with
young people. The generation gap would get a lot narrower.
Just imagine
young and old alike, starting up our electric scooters, turning
up Sinatra and sailing down the street together with the wind
aerodynamically running over our balding heads as we gum the
lyrics to "I did it my way".
V1-N4
July 29, 2002
Practical
Plastic Recycling Tips
When consumer-grade
plastics first hit the market in the late 1930s and early
40s they were apparently intended to make the lives of consumers,
particularly women, a little easier. Clothes irons, radios,
jars, vacuums and everything in between, which once required
the stamina of an Olympic weightlifter just to use or move
around the house, suddenly became a lot more manageable and
less onerous.
Well,
as things like this have a habit of doing, improvements get
out of hand after a while. Now there's nothing but plastic
underfoot, overhead and round-a-bout.
So I've
come up with a few innovative ideas to recycle and re-use
all this plastic because there are just too many exceptions
to the recycling bins in my neighbourhood and besides all
those recycling numbers on containers are too small and too
confusing.
1) Plastic
beer can rings: These make great sock organizers. No need
to fold anymore-just slip em through the opening and place
in your drawer. There's nothing like pulling someone's leg
by telling them you keep a "six-pack" ready in your dresser
at all times.
2) Plastic
shopping bags: Apart their obvious usefulness for storing,
what else, more plastic shopping bags, they can, with a good
eye and some meticulous stitching, be quilted together to
make an inexpensive slipcover for that heirloom sofa. Not
for your use of course, but for emergencies when notoriously
messy relatives show up. You may have to put up with some
snide remarks like, "Hey, where do you buy your furniture
from, Payfare?" But at least their misbehaving progeny
won't be wiping their chocolate covered faces into the fine
brocade material of your couch.
3) Plastic
Bleach Bottles: Cut vertically half way up from the bottom
then outward. What you have should be left with is something
that looks like a scoop. Now take a small square of paper
and write out operating instructions as follows:
1. Firmly
grasp scoop handle in hand.
2.
Approach processed matter from upwind position
3. Extend
arm and commence swinging pendulum motion while overtaking
matter.
4.
Using lip of scoop pick up offending matter.
5. Deposit
offending matter into plastic bag, and relay matter to nearest
garbage receptacle.
6: Repeat
as many times as required.
Take the
scoop and tie the instructions to the plastic handle, and
without delay present as a belated housewarming or birthday
gift to pesky neighbours that apparently need a very big hint
to clean up their petÕs odiferous and unsightly doodoo.
V1-N5
August 5, 2002
The
perfect host or a friend in need?
Cleanliness
and order are usually a good thing except when taken to the
extreme.
Recently,
I visited an acquaintance who, I discovered, has become extremely
particular about his living environment.
Knocking
on his door I noticed a row of about fifteen pair of shoes
outside his door. When he opened it he asked me to take my
footwear off and place them beside his.
"I
just like to keep all that outside dirt out of my apartment,"
he explained.
Fair enough
I thought, as I stepped inside his apartment.
That's
when he wheeled out a top of the line Tornado 2000 vacuum
making more noise than a jet plane on take off.
"Because
the dirt and dust is always getting in no matter what, I'll
have to vacuum you Gerry," he yelled.
Before
I could protest he proceeded to pass down one side of me and
up the other, stopping only long enough to change attachments
to something that looked like a shag carpet brush, which he
ran through my hair.
Smiling
as if this were as normal as taking someone's coat at the
door, he was in cleaning heaven.
When he
was satisfied the decontamination process was complete, he
turned the vacuum off, hit the automatic chord return and
smiled "there now we can have a nice chat and some coffee."
What was
left of my clothes, having nearly been ripped off my body
by the powerful suction of his monster vacuum, paled in comparison
to my hair, which looked like I'd literally been through a
tornado.
Afraid
that I'd only experienced the eye of my friend's psychological
storm I gingerly backed out of his apartment. After all if
this is what it took to simply enter his apartment, can you
imagine what I'd have to go through if I asked to use his
washroom?
V1-N6
August 12, 2002
Jumping
to conclusions
There's
an old adage that as you get older you mellow with age. The
belief is you get a little smoother, a little less biting
and that you exude more of a peaceful afterglow.
Generally
I think that's the case for most seniors and that's why I
worried about my friend Freddy, who seemed like he'd bit into
a lemon or had just finished a glass of vinegar every time
we sat together for a talk.
Although
he's only in his early 70s, Freddy passes away most of his
day sitting on a common-area balcony and inviting cronies
of all ages to sit with him and talk-a-spell.
Unfortunately
no matter what the subject of the moment is, he'll invariably
turn his attention to some sore point.
From politics
to gardening and from food to car repairs, Fred appears to
see things through jade-coloured glasses.
He and
I were talking about car repairs the other day when he turned
the conversation 180 degrees.
"That
reminds me about a woman I knew, a real gold digger."
But Freddy,
I protested, we were talking about whitewall tires.
"Exactly
my point. She'd never be seen with a guy who drove around
on blackwalls."
So I tried
to shift the conversation to Folklorama.
I love
all the events in the summertime don't you Freddy?
"Yah,
but all that noise and all those people packed together, what
a bother."
So I
tried again. Hey Fred, what are you cooking for supper tonight?
"Some
spuds and some beans. I knew a woman once who said she hated
potatoes. I said what's the matter with you, you nuts or something?"
Basically
it appeared as if Fred had set out to rain on any verbal parade
that passed his way.
Then one
evening in all earnestness, after a half-hour of bemoaning
the world, he turned and said to me, "Gerry, I wish I
could meet a nice woman somewhere, but they're just so hard
to find."
I wanted
to tell Fred he could attract a few lovely bees if only he'd
offer up a little honey, but I was afraid heÕd use that encouragement
to recount a story of someone whoÕd stung him.
I wanted
to believe it was all a façade, Fred's cynicism.
In fact,
I'd pretty much given up hope for old Freddy ever finding
himself a lady friend. After all, it's pretty hard to sugarcoat
Fred's personality.
But to
my surprise, I found him sitting on the front steps one evening
with a lady from our apartment complex.
I did
a double take because Fred was holding this woman's hand and
apparently consoling her.
Good evening
Fred, I offered as I walked past him. "Hey Gerry, I'd
like you to meet Helen," he insisted. Drying her eyes,
Helen stood to shake my hand and said, "Hello, it's so
nice to meet you. Fred's talked about you a lot. Fred is such
a good man, always trying to help others out with good advice
and encouragement. He's a real dear."
I nodded
in agreement, while thinking to myself, who is she talking
about and what did they do with the real Fred?
But Fred
winked at me and smiled like it was a private joke.
The old
fox had only been acting like a cranky curmudgeon all along.
All that supposed negativity had only been for the benefit
of public consumption.
Like most
people, Fred, when the chips were down, was an optimist at
heart.
So I
was reminded of another adage as I left the two of them sitting
together sharing their thoughts and words of encouragement
with each other.
Never
judge a book by its cover.
V1-N7
August 19, 2002
Grandchildren
are the best-est medicine
For seniors
fortunate enough to have young grandchildren, the humorous
innocence of youthful minds and perceptions are without a
doubt the best medicine for nearly anything that ails you.
One of
my friends told me how his own five-year-old grandson walked
up to him one day and asked "Grandpa, are you God?"
"Why
do you ask that my Boy?" replied the startled senior.
"Because
when my mom told my Dad I was going to be staying with you
he said, 'God, is he in for a surprise.'"
A proud
grandmother loves repeating the story of her two year-old
granddaughter coming with her parents to visit during a serious
illness. The young girl apparently climbed up onto the bed
to lie beside her gran.
"I
remember she didn't say a word. She just climbed right up
beside me, lay on her side with her thumb in her mouth and
the other hand gently stroking my cheek. It was like having
an angel come to you."
Another
friend, whose grandchildren live in Toronto, tells me that
he will often take a stroll in the summer afternoon to simply
watch the children at a local playground.
When I
asked him why, he replied, "I watch these little hellions
and sparklers tear up and down and back and forth and can
still feel the tug of the little boy in me straining to get
out and join them. It's still there inside me. And sometimes
when the air is just right, when the perfect smell is there,
I'm right there on the swings right beside them smiling and
looking forward to the adventures the next day will bring."
V1-N8
August 26, 2002
Experience
needed
Seniors
can recall that as young men and women they often relied on
the advice, guidance, example and wisdom of their elders to
teach them skills—work related, people related and anything
in between.
There
were informal mentors at work, among relatives, friends and
even neighbours. No matter what the problem, there usually
was an elder you could seek out or simply observe.
There
was the uncle with a knack for stretching a dollar, the neighbour
who delighted in besting any mechanical problem or the widowed
grandmother who knew a thing or two about loneliness.
Today
it seems as if the idea and practise of drawing upon the knowledge
seniors have built up over the years is somehow irrelevant
in today's complex world where technological skills and proficiency
are often considered more important.
Yet, young
people today often remark that they don't know what to do,
where to turn for practical advice, or how to come to terms
with personal problems or situations. Part of the problem
may be because they are reluctant to ask for advice or help,
either letting pride get in the way or perhaps, underestimating
their elders.
A retired
friend of mine provided his own interesting take on the situation.
"Just
strike up a simple conversation. It all starts with talking.
It won't take long for a young person to tell you what's going
on.
The world
today is place that doesn't take much interest in individuals
or their problems. You may start off discussing a broken faucet
and end up discussing a broken heart. But always remember
it's a two-way deal. Hopefully you provide a different perspective
or even a solution they hadn't thought of, and they provide
you with the reminder that all this experience you've accumulated
is good for something else besides your memoirs."
V1-N9
September 2, 2002
Green
Pets
While
the focus this month is on pets—primarily the warm blooded
furry kind—there are less obvious kinds too.
Mavis,
a 75-year-old senior with a proverbial "green thumb"
seems to have devoted every waking moment to creating the
equivalent of the botanical gardens in her small apartment.
From exotic ivies and cascading clematis and even a miniature
orange tree, this woman can grow anything in her home. Her
daughter tells me that "Mam" spends quality time
with each plant, complimenting them on their appearance or
progress when merited, and tending to those that require some
hands on encouragement.
The results
are spectacular, although I must admit that I sometimes feel
as if I need a machete just to make my way from the living
room to the kitchen. But it's obvious that these leafy green
babies are as much pets to her as the four-legged variety,
and provide her with a sense of both, aesthetic and tactile
beauty.
As a bit
of a pragmatist I'm trying hard to get Mavis to plant some
vegetables and consumable grade fruit in her tropical paradise.
I'd love to get my hands on some fresh romaine or cantaloupe
during the winter but Mavis isn't having any of my nonsense.
It's not
that she isn't up to the challenge you see, it's just that
she couldn't bear the thought of me eating one of her pets,
something she doesn't have to worry about with her 20 varieties
of cacti. Ouch!
V1-N10
September 9, 2002
Use
in moderation
When computers
were first introduced on a mass scale in the early 1980s they
were heralded as tools that would reduce paperwork, the length
of the work week and generally usher in an era of unrestricted
productivity and prosperity.
But just
like all the revolutionary technological inventions that preceded
them, computers also brought some unwelcome baggage with their
widespread integration into society.
In the
old days it was unheard of to go to a bank and hear the words,
"I'm sorry we can't complete the transaction because
our computers are down." Terms like "crash",
"re-boot" and "virus" denote computer
trouble. Like the automobile, which promised freedom, speed,
convenience, is now inexorably linked to noise, pollution,
urban congestion, urban sprawl and fossil fuel depletion.
We have to accept computers as useful tools, with the potential
of negative side effects.
Like their
mechanical ancestors, computers can be a wonderful tool for
communication and exploration, but only if they are used to
enhance our lives, not as a substitute.
And just
as we still walk or run or bicycle instead of relying on automobiles
all the time, it will be to society's benefit if we remember
to write a handwritten note and to hear each other's voices
when possible rather than solely relying on a keyboard, a
screen and binary coding. As the saying goes, remember to
reach out and touch someone.
V1-N11
September 16, 2002
Great
music never fades
It's gratifying
to hear the music of an earlier time making such a strong
comeback.
From Old
Blue Eyes to Jane Morgan, Duke Ellington to the Mills Brothers
and Les Paul to Johnny Cash, the golden greats are gaining
whole new audiences among the young, who are re-recording
the classics or promoting the rich musical legacy to a whole
new generation of listeners.
That's
quite a change when you consider that during the 70s and right
into the 90s it seemed that the musical genius personified
by these artists and many others had pretty much been buried
by the younger crowd and by commercial radio.
For seniors
at that time looking to relive some great musical memories,
it pretty much meant having to dust off the old vinyl records
and hoping the old record player still worked.
Luckily
all that great music and talent has been rediscovered in the
last five years. Both of Winnipeg's university radio stations
at 95.9 FM and 101.5 FM feature some great shows devoted to
music from the golden era of jazz, country and pop.
And CKVN
(now CHNR), operated and hosted by former Winnipeg radio and
broadcasting personalities—which has slugged away as
a special events on-air/off-air operation for years—now
has a permanent full-time license.
That's
great news for seniors who'll remember the old voices and
personalities and their eclectic musical tastes and it proves
once again that class, quality and integrity are never out
of style.
V1-N12
September 23, 2002
Imagination,
fun, moderation—a fun recipe for fitness
The topic
of sports and fitness can often conjure up daunting images
for those of us contemplating getting into a little better
shape. The sight of sweat-drenched long-distance marathon
runners collapsing at the finish line or the eye-bulging Olympian-sized
efforts of professional athletes is usually enough to derail
any personal fitness plan.
For many,
myself included, the often religious-fervor employed by those
exhorting others to find "the zone" or to experience
"the adrenaline rush" makes the whole pursuit suspect
in itself. The startling mortality rate among people who suddenly
and vigorously turned the innocent pursuit of getting into
better shape into an obsession acts as a cautionary warning
to all.
As in
all things, moderation and enjoyment would seem to be the
key to sticking with any exercise plan. It was in this spirit
that I recently set up the following daily exercise regime
for myself as a means of getting into better shape without
devoting my life to it.
30-minute
walk I set my pace by imaging I am being pursued by a pesky
rug-cleaning telemarketer who has decided to make a house-call.
5 minutes
deep-breathing exercise. I simply recall the most boring story
IÕve ever heard and repeat it in my head until the required
time elapses.
10 minutes
swimming. Fill bathtub and jump in. I lie on my back and flutter
kick slowly. I reward myself after the completion of my laps
if the lifeguard—I mean my wife—isn't looking, by
finishing my dip with a giant running cannon ball or belly
flop. It makes a heckuva great splash.
2 minutes
Leg kick-starts. Remember the last time you really stepped
in it? Well it's the same action here. Raise one leg and commence
shaking it vigorously. One minute for each leg.
There
are other imaginative exercises and variations I come up with
now and again to provide some variety. No doubt you all have
your own. My neighbour slams his door everyday at least five
times. I used to get a little angry about it until I realized
it was probably nothing more than part of his regular exercise
routine, just like my pounding on the walls with my fists
is during his Friday afternoon Tuba lessons.
V1-N13
September 30, 2002
Our
dirty little secret
For those
of us who still drive, winter's approach is a time to size-up
our car's condition while asserting some good-old male mechanical
know-how as well.
But popping
the hood of my 1999 Buick last week stopped me dead in my
tracks. The maze of wire, hoses, belts and other foreign looking
apparatus was a humbling experience.
In fact,
it's impossible for a guy to do little more than scratch his
head, poke it in there for a couple of minutes, wave at the
wife (who still thinks you've got the right mechanical stuff)
and thrust your body deep into the engine compartment to convey
to everyone, who may pass by that you're really grabbing the
bull by the horns.
But all
you're really doing, of course, is cursing the auto-makers,
who in the old days made cars where nothing was alien to a
man, where sockets and wrenches fit, where a guy stood a fighting
chance of accomplishing something.
Today
it seems as if they want to rub our noses in all the unfathomable
gadgetry and technology.
After
30 minutes of this ruse I slam the hood hard and pretend to
wipe some non-existant grease off my hands as I enter the
apartment.
The wife
asks if I had any problems with the car. I reply, "Nope,
but I gotta take the car for a road test just to make sure
and drop into Canadian Tire for some oil."
But the
sad truth is that I'm off to a garage where a computer will
be checking on the condition of my car as a delighted garage-keeper
waits to lighten my wallet considerably.
The one
consolation however, is that I'm surrounded by other fellows
who were also on their way to Canadian Tire or Walmart for
a quart of oil. After all, the truth would just be too humiliating.
V1-N14
October 7, 2002
Stormy
weather
The recent
and now departed summer proved once again that Manitoba boasts
some of the most unpredictable weather in the nation.
While
global warming and various el-nino and nina factors no doubt
have something to do with the wild and sudden swings in temperature
that appear to be more frequent in the last decade, the simple
fact is that weather forecasting is a tenuous science at best.
Last week,
for example, the various meteorologists and weather diviners
were unanimous in forecasting last Sunday as candidate for
splendid warm sunny skies.
I should
know better, but rose early Sunday morning in expectation
of a splendid day to enjoy the outdoors.
Surprise,
Surprise. No sun, no warmth and a day of carefully laid plans
lay in ruins. Cloudy, dark, windy and cool the weather was
dreadful.
So I'm
swearing off all the forecasters once and for all. After all,
this last year they haven't been able to correctly predict
what the weather will be in five minutes from the time they
start their forecasts.
I guess
I'll take my cat's lead from now on. After he wakes up he'll
stretch and quickly size-up the situation and take his cue
from what is happening, or not happening, at that very moment.
If it looks at all promising he'll set out, if not, he'll
simply roll up in a ball and catch some more zzzzz's.
Apparently
he has a better handle on things than all of Environment Canada.
V1-N16
October 21, 2002
An
idea
I recently
helped my uncle move into an apartment retirement home.
Among
the things he had to dispose of was an extensive record collection
and some hi-fi equipment he's accumulated over the years.
We thought
of donating it to a charity or thrift store but much of what's
donated ends up being thrown away because as one employee
told me "stereo equipment and records take up too much
space and no one buys the stuff."
It seemed
a shame to simply consign the music and hi-fi equipment to
the garbage or to places where they wouldn't be appreciated
so I got an idea and visited a long term care home. I'd read
that they were looking for ideas for non-physical activities
residents could enjoy individually or as part of a larger
group.
What could
be easier than listening to music? What could be more enjoyable
than playing it on a record player that made sense and reminded
you of the good old days? The staff agreed and I set up my
uncle's old stereo in the lounge, stocking it with old records
for the seniors or staff to play.
The reviews
are in, and both staff and seniors love being able to play
their Chopin and Ellington records and reminisce. Apparently
sometimes the music has even inspired a couple of impromptu
waltzes. A recent request by a senior's residence here in
Manitoba to do the same thing has me thinking I might be on
to something. So if any of you have any old hi-fi or stereo
equipment that is in good working condition and records—even
78s—please donÕt throw them out or send them to a thrift
shop! Recycle them and spread some enjoyment around.
V1-N18
November 4, 2002
Experience:
essential
While
marketing types and profit hungry businesses have been keen
to target seniors as a new market for everything from seniors'
formula cough syrup to vacation packages, it appears that
as a demographic group, seniors are viewed more as consumers
than as essential and vital contributing components of the
nation's social fabric.
News headlines
recount daily the burgeoning numbers of retirees and their
effect on an under-funded Canada Pension Plan where the number
of recipients will exceed the number of those who are contributing
to the plan.
Increased
life expectancy and the ability of modern day medicine to
combat a host of effects resulting from aging are also regularly
cited as a contributing cause of the increased strain on the
health care system.
The net
effect of this type of media bias is to create a view among
some younger people that seniors are more of an economic and
social burden than a blessing.
It's time
that the media extended its coverage of issues related to
seniors and aging with some capacity to comprehend the tremendous
and continual positive effect seniors have on the nation's
economy and its overall quality of life.
One does
not have to look too closely to findÊa senior who is participating
in the civic, cultural, economic, intellectual or social life
of the broader local, regional or national community.
From our
chief justices to our prime minister, to the presidents of
banks and the heads of many philanthropic foundations, the
fundamental common denominator is age and experience.
As the
old saying goes, "the proof is in the pudding."
V1-N21
November 25, 2002
Perspective
is everything
The human
capacity for optimism and humour even in the face of overwhelming
evidence to the contrary is, I believe, a source for celebration.
I've chosen
a few recent anecdotes from the last month to provide some
evidence of what I mean.
A friend
whose fallen on hard times of heart and economic circumstances
recently told me that no matter if he now had nothing, as
his close friend, I could have half of that.
Last week
I overheard a couple of women discussing the sudden chill
that's fallen on Winnipeg. When one remarked that it was awfully
cold for early November her companion remarked, "Well
at least it's a dry cold."
Another
acquaintance of mine related that he's been dressed down at
a party for his apparent tendency to view the world in somewhat
negative terms. Later he was approached by the person who
had taken him to task in an apparent overture of peace. When
asked by the other party if he would like to share a drink
to show there were no hard feelings, my friend replied, "Yes,
that would be nice, but I'd like mine in a glass that's half
empty."
And finally
there's the now famous joke about two chaps who go to the
outhouse together, a twin-seater of course. When one of the
fellows proceeds to lower his trousers a $5 bill happens to
fall out of his rear pocket and into the abyss.
Just as
his companion is about to offer his condolences, the victim
of the unfortunate accident suddenly pulls out his wallet,
takes out a $20 bill and throws it down the hole. In horror,
his companion asks, "Why did you do that?" The other
man turns to his friend and says, "Well you don't think
I'm going down there for only $5 do you?"
It appears
that perspective is everything.
V1-N23
December 9, 2002
The
Christmas rush
With the
holiday season rapidly approaching—15 shopping days and
counting—it's hard not to get a little frazzled by the
frantic pace of activity encountered on the streets, shopping
centres and pretty well everywhere else as people attempt
to get everything in order for a week of festivity.
As you
get older of course there's a little less rushing around and
a lot more pre-planning for the holidays.
Having
been through the season dozens upon dozens of times of course,
seniors are able to conserve their energy and pare down their
to-do lists to the essentials.
Of course
being retired and having the full run of shopping centres
from opening to close seven days a week doesn't hurt either.
Pity the
juniors out there still working, who somehow have to cram
in all their shopping after work or on the weekends when the
bloodthirsty hordes are in full feeding frenzy.
Sure we
envy the young people— their speed and mobility—but,
heck, seniors work smarter and thusly work a little less.
Perhaps
that's why so many seniors still look fresh-faced and ready
for a couple of more rounds on Christmas Day while the younger
set seems to look a little ragged around the edges.
V1-N25
December 23, 2002
Merry
Christmas to all my readers!
To you
and yours. May you enjoy the best the season has to offer—the
company of friends and family, the warmth of warm wishes for
our neighbours and fellow citizens, and the hope for health,
peace, prosperity and contentment for all mankind.
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