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V9N10 - Mar. 1 - Mar. 28, 2011:

 

Spotlight feature:
Stuart Murray:
Trying to Make Everyone Happy
Winnipeg, Manitoba

By Scott Taylor

Stuart Murray, CEO of the Canadian Museum for Human Rights.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The modest and self-deprecating Stuart Murray, a guy who has admitted to be being “an old dog,” will also be the first to admit that he learns something new every day. Not surprisingly, that’s what his latest job does for him. Matter of fact, every day has nothing to do with it. He learns something new every minute.

As chief executive officer of the Canadian Museum for Human Rights, the 56-year-old Murray meets with some of the world’s most important people. From Ukraine’s ambassador to Canada to our own Prime Minister, Murray spends his days discussing subjects that few of us have discussed in polite company for decades.

Artist’s rendition of the Canadian Museum for Human Rights at The Forks.

It’s exhilarating, it’s educational, it’s deep and, at times, it can even be controversial and frustrating, but for the former leader of Manitoba’s Progressive Conservative Party, it’s never dull.

In fact, the day we sat down to talk about the huge building going up on Waterfront Drive at the Forks, Murray had to walk over and escort the Ukrainian ambassador through the building’s construction.

“It’s wonderful,” Murray said with a smile. “It’s unlike anything I’ve ever done before, but I find it exciting and rewarding. And no, I’m not deaf to the criticism. I know what people are saying and I hear all the arguments about what the building might be and what people think it should be. I talk to the stakeholders every day. I know what this museum means and I know how important it is
to people all over the world.

“What gets me truly excited is that it’s not only being built in Canada, but it’s being built in my home town. I’m very proud of that and it’s the reason we’re all working as hard as we are to make it representative of the journey that man has taken to understand what basic human rights mean to people.”

Murray was hired as the first CEO of the Canadian Museum for Human Rights in September of 2009. From that day on, he’s spent much of his time putting out fires, from critics as well as from groups who believe they have an “obvious” stake in the museum’s layout.

Of course, it’s not like Murray hasn’t had plenty of experience in putting out political fires. He was the CEO of St. Boniface Hospital and Research Foundation from 2006-2009, the leader of the provincial Conservative party from 2000-2006, the CEO of DOMO Gasoline Corporation Ltd. (his wife’s family business), from 1989-1999 and he worked for Prime Minister Brian Mulroney from 1985-1989.

Just for fun, he was once the Road Manager for the Canadian Rock Band Blood, Sweat & Tears and was the chairman of the remarkably successful 1999 World Junior Hockey Championship in Winnipeg. The guy has chops.

However, what he’s dealing with now has as much to do with ignorance and jingoism as it is simple criticism. While the Museum’s fund-raising arm, the Friends of the Canadian Museum for Human Rights takes a bashing in some media circles for its fund-raising strategy, Murray has to appease the people whose histories might suggest they will be most-involved in the Museum.

However, not that many people know exactly what the Museum is about or what it will look like inside when it’s finished. Murray wants to make sure it doesn’t turn into the “Look What Your Ancestors Did to My Ancestors Museum of Public Revenge.”

According to Murray, the CMHR will be programmed around 12 permanent zones.

“It will feature a wide range of human rights stories from around the world,” he said. “Woven throughout all the zones of the museum will be common themes, known as ‘threads’ which will link together the diverse experiences of Canadians and people from other countries.”

The content of the museum has not been determined, however, there will be a number of permanent and non-permanent zones.

1) Buhler Hall will be the Welcome Zone and at that point visitors can choose to visit the temporary exhibition hall, take the ramp to the introductory zone, or take an elevator to the Tower of Hope. According to Murray, “This is an important place to highlight an Indigenous welcome to the territory and to the Museum.”

2) The Introduction to Human Rights will present visitors with a broad vision of human rights to help them appreciate human rights concepts, history, struggles, and successes. It will also explore how human rights are experienced in everyday life. The zone will convey to visitors that a broad definition of human rights must be inclusive of all cultural perspectives.

3) Indigenous Rights will be the zone in which Indigenous concepts of humanity will be displayed as well as how Indigenous peoples struggle for and assert their rights in Canada.

4) Canada’s Human Rights Culture will focus on exposing visitors to key thematic currents in Canada's distant and recent past and their relevance today, viewed through a human rights lens. It will focus on historical incidents of rights violations, as well as on the struggle to achieve civil liberties and human rights. In doing so, the exhibition will help visitors to understand better the processes that have come to shape Canada's human rights culture.

5) The Canadian Challenge will explore the fundamental rights and freedoms to which people in Canada are entitled, as well as the limitations to which those rights are subject.

6) The Holocaust: One of the permanent displays and according to Murray, “the Holocaust provides powerful lessons on the fragility of human rights, lessons which continue to be relevant today. These lessons include the ways that racist and anti-Semitic ideologies and ethnic hatred motivate rights violations, the potential of the modern State to be a perpetrator, the processes of dehumanization of out-groups such as Jews, Roma, persons with disabilities and homosexuals, the relationship between genocide and human rights violations, and the crucial role of bystanders in enabling human rights atrocities.

7) The Human Rights Revolution: Since the adoption of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights (or UDHR) in 1948, human rights have become the global language of justice. This zone will convey a message of inspiration from the never-ending global efforts to promote human dignity for all people.

8) Mass Atrocity: Not a pretty name and a zone that has met with controversy. This zone is a quiet area in which visitors will acknowledge the many specific mass atrocities which have occurred since the beginning of the 20th century, study the primary source evidence regarding these atrocities, and be inspired by the many ways that people seek to re-affirm their human dignity in the wake of the atrocity.

9) The Forum will serve as the space for dialogue and reflection and as a place where visitors can engage with others in a creative and participatory exploration of peace and human rights. It will focus on notions of action that are crucial to the protection, promotion and achievement of human rights - creativity, empowerment, dialogue and relationship-building, agency, identity, awareness, education and collaboration.

10) Human Rights Today. This zone will play a key role in the museum as the main place where contemporary global human rights struggles are presented. It addresses the classic questions: Who? What? Where? Why? How?

11) Eye on the World will be a changing exhibition gallery for documentary photography and film where visitors will have the opportunity to explore the role of photojournalism in raising awareness of human rights issues.

12) The Hall of Commitment, as either the final zone in the Museum or the visitor’s starting point on the journey, it is about activism and empowerment. “It is also about showing how we are all part of a global community, and that we can make a difference in building and nourishing a human rights culture,” Murray said.

“The Museum will be a journey,” Murray explained, “held together by common threads: Aboriginal; Language; Gender; Sexual Orientation; Religion; Disability; Children; Age; Race; Environment; Food; Water; Labour; Health; Education; Poverty; Immigration; Migration; Colonialism. It’s a list that will continue to develop as the Museum matures. It’s important to note that very little in the museum will be permanent. Just like the Museum, Human Rights is a journey. We’re all on it and the Museum will give us a place to learn about, think about, discuss and grow, and to truly understand what human rights means.”

Not everyone, of course, is thrilled about it and the opposition is growing:

1) There are still some aboriginal groups unhappy with the site and the proposed content.

2) Lubomyr Luciuk of the Ukrainian Canadian Congress wants the 1932-33 Soviet Ukraine Famine to be a “permanent highlight” of the Museum.

3) The Canadian Polish Congress is against the Holocaust having a permanent display while the rest of the world’s injustices will be grouped together in the Mass Atrocity zone.

4) The Central and European Council of Canada which, according to the Globe & Mail, "represents three million Canadians of Latvian, Estonian, Lithuanian, Hungarian and Slovak descent", believes its story of suffering under the Nazis and the Communists is being "callously ignored."

5) Armenian Canadians want recognition of their genocide under the Turks. This is going to be a magnificent building, a landmark in the city of Winnipeg and the man running the show today is a great listener with political savvy. He’s going to need all the savvy he can muster as the CMHR gets closer to completion.

(Read more in the March 1 - March 28/2011 issue of Senior Scope)



March 1, 2011

PROVINCE ANNOUNCES ENHANCED SENIORS ABUSE LINE NOW AVAILABLE FULL TIME

As of today, the provincewide Seniors Abuse Line is now available 24 hours a day, seven days a week, Healthy Living, Youth and Seniors Minister Jim Rondeau has announced.

"Abuse is often hidden and people can be reluctant to seek help. We need to ensure that older adults know they have a confidential service to turn to any time they need it," said Rondeau.  "I encourage any senior who is experiencing abuse or anyone just seeking information about it to please call the toll-free line at 1-888-896-7183, where there are people prepared to help."

Along with the expanded hours of service, the line now offers full telephone counselling from highly trained counsellors, the minister said.  Information about elder abuse and referrals to other agencies will continue to be available.  The line is funded by the Seniors and Healthy Aging Secretariat of Manitoba Healthy Living, Youth and Seniors.  Klinic Community Health Centre will be working with Age & Opportunity to deliver the elder abuse phone counselling.

"This is the type of service that Klinic has a great deal of experience in providing.  We're pleased to be putting that experience to good use in working with the province and Age & Opportunity to ensure that older adults, concerned family members and other individuals receive the counselling, support and information that they need, when they need it," Tim Wall, director of counselling services.

The abuse of older adults is considered to be any action or inaction by a person in a relationship of trust which jeopardizes the health or well-being of an older person, Rondeau explained. The types of abuse are physical, sexual, emotional and financial as well as neglect.  In 2002, the Seniors and Healthy Aging Secretariat established a comprehensive provincial strategy to address issues of abuse of older adults.  A key component of the strategy is the funded partnerships with key senior serving organizations to provide direct elder-abuse services, such as the seniors abuse line, the minister added.

In implementing the provincial strategy, the secretariat's elder-abuse consultant works throughout Manitoba to ensure that services and supports are co-ordinated and widely available, he said.  In October, an elder-abuse guide was released for the north Eastman health region so that all regions in Manitoba now have a guide in place to provide information to residents that is specific to their areas.  "The Age-Friendly Manitoba initiative supports seniors in leading active, socially engaged and independent lives that contribute to healthy aging," Rondeau said.  "By making healthy choices and remaining active and socially connected, seniors will diminish their risk of experiencing abuse.  It is Manitoba's goal to be the most age-friendly province in Canada by working with communities to enhance the programs and services that benefit the well-being of all seniors."

(Read more in the March 1 - March 28/2011 issue of Senior Scope)



March is Fraud Prevention Month:

Canadians continue to be the target of a variety scams, and despite how long some of these schemes have been around there is always another victim willing to part with their money.

Regardless of the type of scam, whether it be the Grandson Scam, Lottery Scam, or an offer to reduce your credit card interest rate pitch, to name a few, they all work the same way. With the exception of the Grandson Scam the offer presented by the suspect is always ‘too good to be true’ and greed overrides common sense. Victims are convinced to cash counterfeit cheques or money orders into their bank accounts and send real money to the fraudster. The suspect is never who he claims to be and the money is collected somewhere other than the address he provides. When the cheque doesn’t clear the victim is left holding the bag and will be held liable for reimbursement.

Education and awareness has proven to be a valuable tool in fraud prevention. If you’ve been the target of fraud, share your story with family and friends. Warn others about how they can protect themselves by talking about that suspicious phone call you received, or the email stating you’ve won the lottery.

Visit websites such as www.antifraudcentre.ca or www.rcmp.ca for the latest scams and how they lure victims into parting with their money. By educating yourself and sharing your knowledge you will have done your part in fraud prevention.

Recognize it, Report it, Stop it!

Cst. Ben Doiron
Winnipeg RCMP
Commercial Crime Section

(Read more in the March 1 - March 28/2011 issue of Senior Scope)



Financial Planning:

Sorting out the tax slips

BRIAN G. KONRAD CFP, Financial Consultant

When winter winds finally give way to warmer breezes, you know that a new season is once again upon you – tax season. And with this new season, you may find the arrival of a tax slip for capital gains distributions from your mutual fund company.

Many individuals are uncertain about capital gains distributions and how they should be reported for tax purposes. Simply put, mutual funds buy and sell securities. Mutual fund investments may generate investment income in addition to gains if securities within the fund are sold for more than their purchase price. While some of the income and gains will go towards paying fees and expenses for the fund, any profit is subject to tax within the fund. Since a mutual fund trust may be subject to a high rate of tax, but does not pay tax on net income and gains distributed to its investors, distributions are the normal course of action. Distributions are then taxed in the hands of the recipient at his or her marginal tax rate.

Need more information? Here are some straight answers to the most commonly asked questions about capital gains distributions from mutual fund trusts.

• Are fund returns and fund distributions the same thing?
No. Fund returns are a measure of how the fund has performed over time, including distributions and changes in its price. Fund distributions are what the fund distributes to its investors, and are often driven by tax considerations.

• Under what circumstances am I liable for taxes on capital gains in my mutual fund investments?
The first circumstance is when you dispose of fund units at a price higher than their cost base. The second occurs when the fund distributes gains that have resulted from the fund selling holdings in its portfolio during the year at prices higher than their cost.

• How does a mutual fund trigger capital gains?
A mutual fund buys and sells stocks, bonds, T-bills or other assets. If a security is sold for more than its purchase price, a capital gain will result. If over the course of the year, the fund’s realized capital gains exceed its capital losses and its expenses, it may have to pay tax on those gains to the extent that they are not
allocated to unitholders.

• Why does a mutual fund distribute capital gains?
To avoid paying net taxes at the highest marginal tax rate for individuals, a mutual fund trust distributes net capital gains to its investors prior to the calendar year end. Generally the capital gain distribution is reinvested in additional units of the same fund.

• Why is the actual distribution amount not known until year end?
The formula for determining the amount of the capital gains distribution is based on information that is not known until the taxation year-end of the fund. This information includes income, expenses, net realized and unrealized gains, net assets and redemptions during the year.

• Does reinvesting the capital gains distribution in a mutual fund reduce my tax bite?
No. Capital gains distributions are automatically reinvested in additional units of the same fund and are taxable to you.

• Does the length of time I held my investment affect my distribution and tax position?
You’ll receive the same distribution whether you’ve held the fund for the full year or only a few days.

• Must I include capital gains distributions on my current tax return?
Yes. Within the first few months of the year following the distribution, you’ll receive a tax slip (T3) from the fund company reporting income and capital gains distributed to you. These amounts must be included with your annual tax return.

• Do I pay taxes on distributions from all my mutual fund
investments?

Not necessarily. You pay taxes on any distributions from your non-registered investments, but not from funds held within your RRSP. When you withdraw money from your registered plan, it is taxed as ordinary income.

• Can I do anything to reduce the amount of tax I pay due to my mutual fund investments?

There are a variety of strategies, including using losses to offset capital gains and choosing to invest in more “tax-friendly” mutual funds. Taxes are only one consideration when investing. Most importantly, your strategies should address your individual goals and risk tolerance and be part of your overall financial plan.
__________________________________

BRIAN G. KONRAD CFP
Financial Consultant
brian.konrad@investorsgroup.com
(204) 489-4640 ext. 246
100-1345 WAVERLEY STREET
WINNIPEG, MB R3T 5Y6
1-888-205-4828

Commissions, fees and expenses may be associated with mutual fund investments. Read the prospectus before investing. Mutual funds are not guaranteed, values change frequently and past performance may not be repeated.

Written and published by Investors Group as a general source of information only. It is not intended as a solicitation to buy or sell specific investments, nor is it intended to provide tax, legal or investment advice. Readers should seek advice on their specific circumstances from an Investors Group Consultant.

™Trademark owned by IGM Financial Inc. and licensed to its subsidiary corporations.

“Sorting out the tax slips” ©2011 Investors Group Inc.

(01/2011) MP1027

(Read more in the March 1 - March 28/2011 issue of Senior Scope)




Las Vegas: It’s Nothing Like the Movies

By Scott Taylor

LAS VEGAS, Nev. – It has been called, “Disneyland for adults,” which is quite an interesting statement once one asks the question: What constitutes an adult?

Somewhere, between McCarran International Airport and the Las Vegas strip, otherwise quiet, stoic, Midwestern grown-ups become wide-eyed children-in-adults bodies, looking for a quick win at the poker table and a weekend-long series of alcoholic beverages and high-calorie buffets.

Make no mistake, for many people the adage is true: What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. This is, after all, America’s Party Central, with more slot machines than rocks in the desert and as many pretty young women as even Hollywood can boast. However, it’s a place where a weekend can slip past in a heartbeat and the temptations of youth can jump up and bite you without warning.

However, for those of us who won’t be spending a lot of the early morning hours at Jet, Tryst, Heat and Ice nightclubs, Las Vegas can be a lot more than slot machines and hotel bars. In fact, if you feel like walking, working out, people-watching and allowing a city to entertain you all by itself, Las Vegas can be the best weekend you’ll ever spend – even without placing a bet or waking up on the floor of your (or somebody else’s) hotel room.

Now, for many Winnipeggers, Vegas has become the weekend of choice. There have long been charter flights to the Nevada desert and many people from all over Manitoba have become regulars here in Sin City. With West Jet’s direct flights from Winnipeg to Las Vegas, more and more folks from the cold, white north have found Las Vegas to be a great winter getaway and many come down two or three times a year. It’s easy to get to, easy to return home and the reality is, lodging here is quite economical.

We just spent a tremendous weekend in Vegas visiting the Silver and Gold Pawn Shop (from the History TV series “Pawn Stars”), watching the UFC 126 fight card at Mandalay Bay Resort and Casino Events Centre (what a remarkable spectacle that was), and wandering the strip almost aimlessly, looking at an array of crazies that you’ll only find in a place like Las Vegas. In fact, when you bump into Bumble Bee from Transformers, Super Man, Elvis, Marilyn Monroe, Yoda and Woody from Toy Story all on the same street corner, you know you aren’t in Kansas anymore.

However, for the sake of simplicity, we’re going to look at Las Vegas from a neophyte’s perspective. In other words, if you are thinking of going to Vegas for the first time or if you haven’t been since the 60s or 70s and you’re ready to do it again, then here are some tips to make the trip go smoothly. For these folks, nothing is “old hat,” so here are eight ways to make the mundane go by quickly, so the fun can start without a hitch.

1) Plan ahead. Don’t decide on Thursday that you want to go on Friday. It’s too expensive and there are no flights left anyway. Give
yourself a month to plan the trip properly, get the best hotel at the best rates (we love the Mirage because of its location, sports book, great rooms and great rates, but the Wynn, the Encore, Caesar’s Palace, Mandalay Bay, MGM Grand and the new hotels at the City Centre – the Cosmopolitan, the Aria and the Vdara – are all gorgeous) and get a direct flight for a good price.

2) When we go to Vegas, we want to be on “The Strip.” That’s where the fun is (that’s why we love the Mirage) and that’s where you’ll probably end up running into people you know. So before you leave, sign up for as many hotel deals as you can. Go to Google and ask it for a list of all the hotels on the strip. Go to the hotel websites and sign up for regular e-mail reports. You’ll start getting great offers that will allow you to stay in a higher-end Strip resort for not a lot of money. We just stayed at the beautiful Mirage, right in the middle of The Strip on a very busy four-day Super Bowl weekend for just a little more than $400. You can stay cheaper, but you won’t have as much fun.

The Mirage hotel.

3) Shop around for airline deals and the best possible schedules. If it’s summertime, you might think about heading down to Grand Forks or Fargo to get a cheap flight on Allegiant Air. When we go in the winter, we don’t book U.S. flights simply because we don’t trust the fickle weather and we’d hate to have the highway closed when we’re trying to get the airport in Fargo. Instead, we rely on charters or on the great rates, schedules and direct flights you can get with West Jet.

The Venetian hotel.

4) As you land at little McCarran International Airport listen for the flight attendant’s baggage claim announcement. Then when you de-plane just follow the signs right to your bags. You can take a shuttle to many hotels but we always just grab a taxi. It’s quick, easy, takes you right to the front door of any Strip resort without delay, and it’s just $20.

5) Everybody who visits Las Vegas for the first time always seems to hear about the great buffet tables. Just about every hotel has one and, at the big hotels on the strip, the food is generally very good. However, not all prices and not all service times are the same, so when you check out your hotels on Google, make sure you check out the buffet prices and schedules, as well. There is an excellent buffet at the brand new Aria at City Center that starts at 9 a.m. and is just $23.95. The buffet at the Bellagio, doesn’t start until 11, is $29.95 and it isn’t that much better. Fresh crab legs at the Aria are just as good as fresh crab legs at the Bellagio.

6) Be ready to walk. There is nothing more fun than walking the Strip at night, so pack good, comfortable walking shoes.

7) All of the resort swimming pools are great fun (although if you go in the winter, it will be cold here and there is often upgrading and renovations being done at the pools). Still, if it’s fall, spring or summer, pack a bathing suit, sunscreen and a good book. Man (or woman) can not exist on slot machines and poker tables alone.

8) The shows in Vegas are tremendous. From Jerry Seinfeld to Celine Dion to Cher and all the Cirque du Soleil extravaganzas, you will never be short of entertainment. But most of the shows can be expensive if you don’t look around for deals. And there are deals. Some shows are cheaper on Monday or Tuesday nights, others have great two-for-one offers. If you’re set on seeing one particular entertainer on your only weekend in Vegas, you will likely be stuck paying retail, but if you’re just looking for a show and it doesn’t matter which night you go, ask the concierge at your resort if there are any deals out there.

A weekend in Las Vegas can be a lot of fun, but it can be more fun if you have a smooth arrival and you get settled in quickly.

And sure, there is probably a slot machine with your name on it or a poker table awaiting your arrival, but remember, you can always gamble at the Casinos of Winnipeg or at Assiniboia Downs. It’s the other stuff that makes a Vegas vacation more fun than any adult should be allowed to have.

(Read more in the March 1 - March 28/2011 issue of Senior Scope)



HUMOUR COLUMN:

The woman who owns the sun wants your billing address

By Willian J. Thomas
Humour Columnist

Recently Angeles Duran, a 49-year-old enterprising woman from the city of Vigo in Spain’s northern Galicia province took possession of the sun. Some women aspire to become CEO of Sun Life Financial or retire in style at Sun Valley, Idaho, but not Angeles – she wanted it all. And according to her lawyer, she got it. Angeles Duran now retains sole ownership of Spectral Type G2 commonly known as the sun.

The United Nation’s Outer Space Treaty of 1967, ratified by 98 nations prohibits any country or government from owning celestial bodies. It does not specifically rule out a person from owning stars or planets. Angeles Duran spotted the loophole and registered ownership with a notary public in Vigo, specializing in deeds.

And you’re about to get a bill for the special benefits you receive from that burning ball of fire 93,000,000 miles from your house. Once she begins collecting every human being’s fair share for the heat and light they receive from the sun, she intends to give half of the revenue to her home country. With Spain teetering on the brink of bankruptcy, the world is about to witness the first intergalactic bailout.

The other half of the money would be split between Spain’s pension fund, world hunger and research. Angeles will keep 10% for herself which is only fair because she came up with the idea of ownership and likely she’ll get stuck keeping the books. The $300 monthly billings, particularly those going to warring tribes in the Amazon and deadbeat dads will be murder.

By my math, Angeles could earn an annual income of $245,108,486,676, roughly the same amount as the United States national debt. When Washington gets wind of this, they’ll be borrowing from Angeles to pay off China.

People in Finland, where it’s dark most of the time, will pay a lot less than $300 a month. People who live around the Arctic Circle where the sun shines 24/7 all summer will get nailed so badly, they’ll think Dalton McGinty came up with this energy plan.

Sure she’ll make tons of money from all the warmth and light but the minute Angeles took possession of the sun she became responsible for the hundreds of thousands of melanoma cancer diagnosed every year not to mention settling the estates of all those victims gone before.

Plus she’ll have to spend billions to buy up and then close down her competition. There are now as many tanning salons in the world as there are McDonald’s. She will also have to buy several tons of sun block if she ever wants to visit her property.

She will need a surveyor’s deed to complete the transaction of transferring ownership of the sun to herself from … well, God. Try finding two guys with orange vests and surveyor’s sticks to take that job. At a return distance of 260,000,000 kilometres and a mileage allowance of 52 cents per kilometre, that trip alone, is going to cost her $135,200,000.00.

Maintenance costs for the sun could be as high as ten billion a year because nobody expects that thing to rotate on its axis for several million years without some sort of replacement part or lube job.

And what about a little thing we like to call the “parallel universe?” What if there’s another sun out there? That could cut her revenue in half.

No, owning the sun is not all lightness and dark tans.

The temperature of the sun’s surface is about 6000° Celsius so setting up an office there, even one with really heavy drapes on the windows is out of the question. The intense heat is often compared to that of hell itself, so Angeles may create another business venture – offering the sun as final destination for Roman Catholics looking for an alternative to purgatory. She could pitch it as the “Ultimate Sunspot Destination.”

Angeles Duran appears to be a very determined woman and she’s taking her newly acquired ownership of this flaming planet of fire quite seriously. You can laugh all you want but if suddenly the earth goes dark and very, very cold because you’re not paying your sun bill, it won’t be so funny then, will it? I know what you’re thinking but no, it’ll be way worse than the power company’s power failures.

All this is not new. Dennis Hope, a Nevada businessman laid claim to the moon years ago and his Lunar Embassy Corporation has since sold plots of land on the moon to 3.7 million people who quite likely talk out loud when they think.

Normally I’m not prone to one-upmanship but in these two cases of hostile takeovers of heavenly bodies, I have made an exception. Yesterday I marched into my lawyer’s office with a deed, complete with a detailed map and high definition photos of the universe. John Tuck has duly ratified my documents and filed them with not just any court but the world court. I now own the Milky Way. That includes our entire galaxy of 100 billion stars and all planets, meteors, that golf ball Alan Shepard shanked on the surface of the moon and the Mars Bar.

Don’t worry; I’m not going to bill you. The money Angeles Duran and Dennis Hope owe me for back taxes and unpaid rent from the sun and the moon will see me nicely into retirement.

They have 30 days to make satisfactory payment arrangements with me before I start foreclosure proceedings. And I think they’ll pay up. Nobody wants to see the world’s economic meltdown spread to outer space.

Oh, and as the proud owner of our galaxy, I’m immediately restoring Pluto to planet status. It’s the earth I’m not so sure about.

For comments, ideas
or a signed copy of
The Dog Rules, go to

www.williamthomas.ca

(Read more in the March 1 - March 28/2011 issue of Senior Scope)



 



Senior Scope - highlighting the programs, services and savings for seniors.

Anyone who is a senior or knows a senior enjoys reading it. And who doesn't have a parent, grandparent, relative or friend who isn't aging? Better yet, who isn't aging? We all are.

Senior Scope offers useful and entertaining information with a focus on active, inspiring individuals, 55 and over, who are happy to share their stories.

Send your comments or story suggestions to kelly_goodman@shaw.ca.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

   
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Senior Scope
Publisher: Kelly Goodman
Phone: 204-467-9000
Box 1806 Stonewall
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Email: kelly_goodman@shaw.ca